


A Court of Shadows and Deceit

by Shannonq19



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: ACOTAR - Freeform, Azriel - Freeform, Dark, Darkness, Deceit, Deception, Dreary, Fate, Hope, Illyrian, Love, Magic, Manipulation, Mating, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Rituals, Matingbond, Multi, Other, ROAR - Freeform, Romance, Sarah J Maas, Shade, Shadows - Freeform, Suicidal Thoughts, Unfortunate, azriellove, badluck, batboy - Freeform, darkn, gory, growl, luck, mate, mind, notallowed, powers, screwup, uncultural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:47:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26729920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shannonq19/pseuds/Shannonq19
Summary: Azriel never knew what he was doing wrong. His entire life while he had been hiding in the darkness, being tortured both physically and mentally-he had taken care of everyone. But now, Azriel was becoming tired of not having a magical ending like Feyre and Rhysand did. He wasn't asking for much, just someone that would care just as much about him as he did for her.Unfortunately, this wish comes true, but brings a plethora of gloominess along with it. When Azriel meets someone unexpectedly-he must decide whether he favors his happiness or the rest of the world's instead.
Relationships: Elain Archeron & Lucien Vanserra, Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	A Court of Shadows and Deceit

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This is one of my first fan fictions so I apologize if it isn't very good. I'd appreciate any comments you have. I hope you enjoy!

Most days Cassian's attitude distracts me from the darkness boiling within myself, but today was so very different. My emotions have been all over the place. I began the day joy-filled. Then that morphed into sadness, then to fear, to anger, then finishing in despair. Even as everyone in the house tells jokes and stories of happy memories, I find my mind wandering—but never to enjoyable places. To the dreariest parts of my mind, I go. My shadows whisper in my ears and all I wanted to do was rip them into shreds. 

_You worthless scum._

_Check your hands—you see? No one will ever want you._

_Give in to us and maybe you'll have a purpose one day._

I had already told myself the worst of it today, so I didn't need my shadows to do it as well. I know I'm a piece of garbage that should be thrown into the sea to rot. Sometimes I wish my family had done that instead of torturing me my entire life. I've been lied to about the matter, mainly by Rhys and Cassian. They speak about how I deserve to live, that I deserve happiness. How wrong they are. If I was to be given happiness Mor wouldn't keep making a joke out of my affection and Elain would understand that I'm growing close to her. Yet, I don't blame them. They're right not to want to love a screwup like me. 

I soar through the sky just below the clouds. Beneath me are the streets of Velaris, glowing brightly, full of life—if only I could feel that way. Why does a city get to live so wonderfully while I'm in pain? Chattering civilians have smiles plastered on their faces as they hurry around carrying bags or boxes from the shops. Some are alone, other are with friends, then there are the ones who walk alonside their romantic partner. There's no violence, no sign of anyone of them showing hatred towards themselves—yet, I suppose no one sees that within me either. 

I move faster, not wanting to see the lights anymore. So, I fly into the darkness, toward the caves and canons I explore when feeling down. The darkness is the only place I belong, and even there I am always on thin ice. I hate me—the shadows hate me—the WORLD hates me, so why stay in it? To protect my High Lady? To save my friends—my _brothers—_ from sadness? Yes, that is why. I'd be selfish to do anything other than stick around in my miserable life. 

Or perhaps they would have a party. _Yay! The shadowsinger that never speaks a word is gone! Bring out the lanterns so we can make sure he stays away!_

They don't understand my silence—the things that speak to me. My shadows could say something cruicial, and if I speak over them—if I lose focus, all of our lives will durn to dust. 

Besides, no one would want to hear what goes on in my head anyway, and I don't want them to. Because if they did, they'd go running for the hills. 

★★★

" _You pathetic halfbreed!"_ The shouted insults stop me. Looking down to the large canyon beneath me, is a half-Fae female having her hands stepped on as she hangs off the side by what looks like a Fae male. I don't move from the spot in the sky. The female doesn't need my help and I don't have much to offer. But despite that, I stay just in case. Females, contrasting from what the males say, don't need us to save them and I'm not going to be the overbearing one that does so. 

" _Say it again."_ The female had nothing but pure calmness in her voice and depite my past emotions, my mouth turned upwards in a small smile. I knew she'd be able to handle this situation. Again, I stay, partially for my own amusement. 

"You have no reason to be alive. Whatever disgusting creature birthed you should've ended your life the moment they saw what a filthy animal you are." I have to keep myself contained after he insults both the half-Fae and her mother now. 

_This is not your battle._

The female laughs. She _laughs_. If I were her in this situation, I would've turned lethal. 

"Such a terrible choice you've made," the female coos. "I'd feel sorry for you if this didn't give me so much pleasure." Before the male could ask her what she meant, darkness crept from the females pinned hands— _shadows_. I would know shadows anywhere, not only because of their appearance, but because of the sound. The faint buzzing of bees and the singing of sirens. It's alluring, yes—but so very emetic. 

She wraps the shadows around the male's ankles and tugs. As the male falls onto his backside, then the female realizes what I do at the exact same time as me. _She is now freefalling_.

If the female has enough control over her powers, she'll be able to save herself from what seems to be an inevitable failure. But she doesn't. The female does not scream as she falls into the darkness, as if—like I—she wants the death to happen. But I won't allow it. I will not allow her to give up on herself that way. I shoot downwards, tucking my wings in to make myself move quicker. I can barely see the bottom of the canyon as she falls down.

And down.

And down. 

And down. 

Once she is in my reach, I grasp her calves and pull her towards me. Clutching her against my chest, I wrap my wings around both of us. I don't have time to fly upwards. Perhaps if I had not gone for her I would've, but now—it's too late now. My only concern is her getting to safety.

Holding the female tighter, I inhale one last deep breath. This will either be the end of me, or be excrusiatingly painful. I hope for the former as my back collides with the stone cold bottom of the canyon. 

_Do not be so foolish, my shadow-filled subject. Your journey has only begun._


End file.
